Disease Classification in DGH

In DGH every clinician is facing a dilemma whether the disease is severe or mild in a particular patient. You may think that here doctors are not good enough to judge it but it is not the truth. Actually here the severity of diseases is assessed by three factors:

1. Intensity of fever
2. patient’s/ attendant’s aggressiveness

3. patient’s relation with higher authorities (in fact it is the most important factor).

So in case of a semi conscious patient with a high blood sugar level, doctor can refuse admission because the patient doesn’t have any support from higher authorities. And by God’s grace there is no one to ask the doctor about it because that doctor belongs to the NWG (non working group).

On the other hand, a patient (MI) comes and straightly orders for admission whatever the disease is. Now no one on this earth can convince him that there is no need of that except the doctors of NWG.
So if anybody wants to come to DGH as a patient, first make sure that you have valid sources.

Throat Examination

Hi again,
In DGH we gather daily for meeting in the morning for discussing admitted cases (yes nowadays we discuss cases whereas previously we used to quarrel in those meetings).
Anyway in that meeting, it is an unwritten rule to describe the throat condition of every patient i.e. throat clean or sore throat. So every doctor tells about it like:

• Patient admitted with alleged history of RTA with multiple injuries to chest and abdomen, unconscious but throat clear.

• Patient admitted in medical OPD with complaints of loss of consciousness and immobile left half of body with sore throat.
• Patient admitted with eruptions all over the body with history of drug ingestion some time back and sore throat.
There is one more issue related with the throat examination which was raised by our NWG Doctor. Why the ENT doctors in DGH examine throat by tongue depressor only while in other hospitals otoscope, nasal speculum and laryngeal mirror are also used for this purpose ( my mind is bemused, isn’t yours?). And I am damn sure that if they would be given more time they would ask that why do the doctors here do USG by USG machine only and not by CT or MRI machine and also why don’t they do any other procedure by USG machine like x ray or ct scan? (Really it is the misuse of USG machine.)
So if anybody is planning to join the DGH, please be prepared for doing throat examination whatever the case may be and also practice to do this examination by all the available instruments otherwise you will be declared inefficient.

Referrologist

Hi friends,
In the last post I was a little bit serious because some of my colleagues were quite curious whether my approach was right or wrong so I gave clarification.
Today I want to discuss one issue which is very much discussed in our hospital and that is referral. Since this blog is initiated by me so if you allow, I want to elaborate this issue in my way.
Referrals received:-
Some times the referring doctor is very specific like ‘referred to such and such doctor for this procedure’ or like ‘doctor come to ER and do stitching’ (this is another thing that most of the time no procedure is required in such patient.) or some times doctor is called to rule out some disease like:
• Referred to surgeon to rule out appendicitis. Or
• Referred to neurosurgeon to rule out brain abscess (that means if he rules out brain abscess, referring doctor will not allow him further to interfere in the management of the disease).
• Referred to ENT specialist to rule out adenoids.
So you can see the specific trend of our DGH in giving referrals. One thing more some of our NWG (No Work Group) Doctors are very desperate to get the post of referrologist. This post may be new for you but it is available in our hospital, and by GOD’S grace only qualification needed is The Least Knowledge among the NWG Doctors.

Dangerous

Hi folks,
Some times I wonder why I am 

writing this when every other person warns me that it may be 

dangerous. But then I give three reasons for it:        
(1) It is
not against any government organization or even against
hospital authorities.
(2) Even if it is against some higher
authorities, it is not wrong to speak the truth.
(3) To tell
all that this world is not forever. One day we will have to
face the GOD
and then He will ask that why you forced your colleague to do
your work and why you behaved badly with some and nicely with
others (this difference in behavior is not after full
assessment but starts from the very beginning). GOD
allows good behavior with some and less good with others. HE

may allow even rough behave with all but HE

will never forgive the discrimination. HE
can forgive if one is negligent in remembering HIM,
if one is negligent in prayers but violation of human rights is
the thing which HE
will never forgive.
So my dear friends today funny hospital
was not so funny, remember, ‘Laughing is good but it
is not everything’.
As you can see I am posting
this blog on alternate days, it is not because of my laziness
or lack of contents. the sole reason of delay is that I want to
give the refined and pure content.
In the meantime I do
research for some good links to provide you some good
websites.

Today’s links:
·
http://www.wikipedia.org/
- very good website for any sort of detail. I can assure, you
can find everything here.
· Special Doctor's
Prescriptions

Dual Personality

Hi,

Yesterday I discussed a few things about our DGH’s doctors. Today I want to elaborate it. Lets starts from the biggest doctor (according to body size) of our hospital. Once upon a time he was the chief but now he is only a specialist like us. So we can divide his life in DGH in two parts: as a chief and as a simple specialist because he has two entirely different personalities in these two periods.

As a chief he was very aggressive, agitated, irritated and a sort of irritated person. If any one greet him ‘good morning’ (of course in morning hours), he would neglect him or just say 'welcome' in response. If you go to him for any help, he would yell at you and won’t even listen to you. If you approach him for any problem or complain, he would always take favor of the opposite side. And by chance you commit any mistake, he would elaborate your mistake after renaming it as ‘the zoster’(perhaps he means disaster). Here are some common disasters according to him:

(1) Letting go a patient from ward (in your absence).

(2) Referring patient to the doctor of ‘no work’ group in case of doubt.

(3) Taking leave in case of some real emergency.

(4) Changing antibiotic in case of no response in more than two days.

These are a few examples of great ‘the zosters’.But I must say he was really good at his heart though:

(1) He never gave leave to doctors even if one of their close relatives died.

(2) If you would approach him for any paper work, he takes your paper and asks you to come later as he wanted to see you again and again.

But like all other good hearted people of this world, he couldn't’ cherish and now he is no more the chief. And as I said earlier this change has entirely altered his personality. If someone meets him now, he not even recognizes him but greets him himself and asks about his well being also. If you need his help, he is always ready even before you ask for it. (But beware he is still deadly for some).

So pray from GOD,please don’t take back any more post from him because any more take back can change him so much that we will have to arrange psychiatrist for the management of his loss of memory and consciousness.

Bye and thanks for reading.

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http://www.indianmelody.com/

http://www.smashit.com

Etiquettes

Hi,
Lets come back to our most civilized MI (oh, Patient if you are new). Since long I am dealing with MIs in DGH and appreciating their excellent sophisticated mannerism. One of their good manners is hand shake. Yes they are very civilized in this etiquette also (I added ‘also’ here because they are civilized in everything like in asking questions, complaining about sick leave, ordering favor etc.). When they enter the room, they shake hand and ask how you are.
Assume a situation, he asked for sick leave and I refused. Then he abused me and went to some higher authority to complain. Now when he returns he would do the same, I mean hand shake and asking about my well being. Now you can imagine how I feel at that time.
Sometimes after a warm hand shake with an MI, my colleague, coming from some other OPD, tells that this patient was in the skin OPD two minutes back and was diagnosed as having scabies (oh God???).
So be patient and always keep some disinfectant with you. You may need both in case an MI wants to shake hand with you.

Politician or Doctor

Hi,
Today I want to dwell in history. No not the history of world but the history of our DGH. Once upon a time here was a resident doctor known as, oh leave it and let’s call him small fat man. As I said he was a resident but he was fattier than a consultant. Oh sorry I mean more influential than a consultant.
As noted to ministry he was a resident but he was working as a specialist and as far as posts are concerned he was the director of one department, head of another department, and assistant director of OPD and may be he had some other posts also which were known to local public.
His favorite pass time was politics. I think the better term would be full time. He used to ask for sick leave, not for him but for his absurd friends in a very peculiar and different way. After refusing to give any patient the sick leave, we would receive a very polite phone call from him, ”Doctor, can you give sick leave to such and such patient?” then we had two options, yes or no. and in case if we went for second option, we would have to suffer a lot like:
(1) Salary cut for few days.
(2) Transfer/ deportment to some remote area.
(3) Special consideration for you in doctors’ meeting.
I think this much detail is not sufficient to describe entire aspects of his personality so I will deal it later.
Good bye for now.

Some good sites:

Medical mistakes

Medical jokes

DSL Craving

Hi, friends, once again I am here with my funny hospital. Within last few days there is a lot of discussion in DGH about DSL (Digital Subscriber Line). May be they are waiting for some more valuable service or may be absolutely free service at no monthly rentals or maybe free cards. I don't know why people discuss things which they don't want to do. We have got life only once, and the part of life in which we are now is also life and we should not waste our life living in misery. Nothing more to say, bye

MI

Hi friends,
Today I faced a nice puzzle which I want to share with you. Today an MI approached me with his son who had some infection. He told me that he is repeatedly infected since three months and now he wants it to be operated. I told him that he was very young child for that operation but he insisted. He argued that his son had received a lot of antibiotics in last three months so we had no option but to do the operation. I tried my best to make him understand but all in vain. He was not ready to listen anything and repeatedly spoke a single sentence, “you must do the operation”.
At last I submitted my oral apology in his court and said sorry. Then the brave king returned from my OPD and I had a sigh of relief.
Moral of the story: Never argue with an MI, say sorry in the beginning.
Oh sorry, I have to go. Somebody (most probably an MI) is asking about dermatology OPD.

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Doctors' classification

Hi,

Sorry for yesterday’s missed post. Because of some unavoidable reasons, I was unable to post. Let’s come on the topic again. We have talked about MI and staff. Today it will be better if we talk about doctors also.

As far as doctors are concerned we can divide them in two categories. In first category I have put the doctors who do nothing. Roaming here and there, and drinking tea or coffee is their sole responsibility. So they are free from all the tensions of work. In second group are the doctors who work not only theirs but also the work left by the first group. So they are frustrated, tired and irritated by the work load. Obviously the first group is very relaxed and happy and the second group is tensed and tearful most of the time.

One more thing, if you refer a case to any of the doctors of first group, he will get angry, complain against you and raise this issue in doctors meeting. But he can refer a case to you anytime and you can’t speak a single word as you are here to work, not for speaking.

So my suggestion for the doctors is: change your position immediately and join the ‘no work’ group. You will feel more comfortable as there is no work so no worry. You will be happy all the time so can meet an MI jubilantly to solve his and yours all the problems.

That is all for today.

Funny Hospital and Questionnaire

Hi friends,

I am here once again. Today in our hospital the topic of discussion is whether we are doctors or clerks sitting at enquiry office. Wait, I explain. We work here and while going for round any MI catches hold of us and asks a series of questions like where is laboratory. Other questions are also very commonly asked:

Q: Where is pharmacy?
A: Outside and on right.
Q: Where is surgical OPD?
A: In the beginning of OPDs.
Q: Where is hospital director’s room?
A: On the top floor.
Q: Can I go for toilet?
A: No
Q: Where is dr. so and so?
A: I don’t know.
Q: Why you don’t know?
A: No answer (as I couldn’t install hidden cameras in entire hospital till now, though I wish).
Q: Why are you not in your OPD?
A: No answer (This question was by OPD director who can appear anywhere any time like a perfect ghost).
There are also many official papers for doctors’ clearance. For that papers there are three typical questions:
(1) Finished here?
(2) What remaining?
(3) Where is that section in which remaining part will be completed?

So there is urgent need of closing OPDs and starting a question and answer section or we may say a quiz department for doctors where anyone can come and ask as many questions as he likes and in the end the winner doctor should be awarded with a long leave to regain his energy.

Bye